If the military uniforms they wear in parliament were not for show and Colleen Makhubele was a commander of the MK Party forces in a real battle, she would have led them straight to an embarrassing defeat at the hands of the enemy. The occasion was the parliamentary vote on the Appropriations Bill — a significant step towards the passing of the troubled government of national unity’s budget. The battle lines had long been drawn, GNU forces — though initially divided — stood in favour, and those outside the GNU would oppose it.
But then came the turn of Makhubele, the MK chief whip, to speak on behalf of her party. The party, she told the house, was voting in favour. Not believing his ears, house chair Cedric Frolick, asked her to state the vote again; “49 chair, in support,” she declared with confidence.
It was only after MPs from the GNU benches started joking about changing sides and mocking the MK party with a standing ovation that the penny dropped. She started backtracking.
Many blame this amateurish mistake on her being new in the house. But if so, why did the rest of her MPs not correct her? Hogarth thinks Makhubele and her caucus misheard “appropriation” as “expropriation” and excitedly thought the vote was for land expropriation without compensation.
It makes you think of your mother
No matter her reasons for voting in favour of a bill MK Party MPs had clearly argued against during the parliamentary debate, what the confusion shows is that Gwede Mantashe was not too far off when he said “kubi pha — things are bad there” when he was telling EFF members that Floyd Shivambu was not going to last in the Nkandla outfit.
No wonder then that the MK Party owner himself, the Nkandla Crooner, is spending so much money and time trying to convince the courts to force his old party — the ANC to take him back. It would seem even he can’t keep up with the chaos.
Some scoops are too good to write about
After listening carefully to Patriotic Alliance deputy leader Kenny Kunene’s explanation of why he was found at the house of a criminal suspect during a police visit there this week, Hogarth is convinced that the unidentified young journalist Kunene claims to have been “accompanying” to the house has blood relations to Oscar Pistorius’ intruder.
No-one seems to know the name of the journalist or what he or she looks like. What is worse for Hogarth is that this allegedly budding journalist, who was there to get a great scoop interview with a man said to be involved in the underworld, then went on to sabotage their own “scoop” by not writing a single word about the arrest, though they were the only reporter there.
Some figures just don’t add up
One of Hogarth’s colleagues was overheard in the newsroom saying Kunene found himself in the controversy because of his bad timing, going to a suspect’s house on the very day that the police were going to pounce and arrest him for connections to heinous crimes. Another colleague retorted, after seeing Kunene on TV trying to explain why he was there, “with a watch on each of his wrists, he still got his timing wrong?” The one watch, a green and black U-boat, costs R21,162 while the Audemars Piguet Royal Automatic he wore on the other wrist costs about R500,000. With figures like these, he really sucks at timing.
Love knows no bounds
While Hogarth would ordinarily cheer any politician who acts swiftly against one of his own suspected of wrongdoing, he simply is not sure what to make of the TV interview in which PA leader Gayton McKenzie seemed to be fighting back tears as he announced Kunene’s suspension from all political activities.
It seemed too dramatic, almost contrived. But then again, everything about McKenzie seems exaggerated.
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